We want taboo topics in toastmasters

I gave this speech in this year's humorous speech contest and won the second prize....


In this year's new year party, each one of the guests were asked to do an item of entertainment. Some of them did the rock and roll. Some of them did the Cat walk. Being a toastmaster, I wanted to do something that I normally don't do. I gave a speech.

Within the first 1 minute, 90% of my audience had switched off to watch Mallika Sherawat dancing in body suit and welcoming the new year. And the remaining 10%, they were fellow toastmasters...

As I sat there analysing the reason for my failure, the answer came to me like a lightening... My inability to talk about taboo topics...

Religious Contest Chair, Politically correct judges and Sexy toastmasters, A good evening to all of you.

In my school, we had a strange punishment for naughty children. Playing time was replaced with an additional class of moral science. The moral science teacher used to come to the centre and repeat "you should not be telling lies", "you should not be using bad words" "you should be respecting elders". When I came to the toastmasters meeting for the first time, the seargant at arms came to the centre in the same manner and said "we refrain from speaking on Sex, Politics and Religion". I was shocked and horrible memories of my moral science class came flooding back to me.

The moment we remove the colourful aspects of the taboo topics from our context, we transform ourselves from normal human beings to a special TZ mode. TZ refers to "Toastmasters Zombie" mode where we talk about success, dedication and hardwork. If toastmasters is expected to train us to face the real world, think about the pressing and anxious issues that we are faced with in the real world

1) When will Aiswarya and Abhishek get married ? What will happen to Salman Khan and Vivek Oberoi
2) How far will shipa shetty go in the big boss contest ?
3) When will Michael Jackson finally become a full fledge woman ?

Important issues that we are never allowed to raise in our session. It has become so bad that whenever I talk with my colleagues in office, there is a constant alarm bell which goes "Taboo topic, stop talking"..

To get a third party opinion, I brought my wife and friend to last year's international speech contest. The feedback from my wife who is addicted to serials " It was like watching multiple serials of Ekta kapoor for continiously for 3 hours" Serials ?. "The main content of almost all the speeches were the same", different speakers were saying it in different words...

The feedback from my friend - "Too violent" Violence ? "Every speaker managed to kill atleast one of his close relative or introduced us to a mysterious illness. The worst part, the speaker who spoke about tragic condition and inability to get married had actually brought his wife for the contest.

By refraining from talking about taboo topics, we are actually risking being categorised as social outcasts.

Then we move onto the table topics. This is one area which is expected to prepare us for the unexpected questions we face in real life. Think about the challenging questions that we face

Wife 1) Office finishes at 5pm, where were you doing till 10 pm ? 2) How come all your friends get more salary than you ?
and the most difficult one of all "Do you still love me ?"

Tricky questions from children watching advts on TV, Daddy " What are the 100 Million reasons and why are those uncles getting caught in the balloon" How do we prepared for these questions ? Even here we talk about time, planing, hardwork.


How can we possibly change this ?

1) Introduce a dedicated session for talking about taboo topics
2) Introdcue a gossip master who will bring us all upto date with the latest gossip
3) Ban the usage of personal tragedy in internal speeches


It calls for a rebellion to bring about any change and I am willing to turn into a rebel. I am going to start the change by means of a signature campaign and get all of you to sign for this noble cause (judges are also requested to put in their signatures). If that does not work, I am planning to start Satyagraha till this change is accepted.

When the next year's party comes along, I want to compete with Mallika Sherawat on equal terms and I am determined to come out as the winner.